So I am having a love-hate relationship with Singapore, some days I'm very happy to be here, others I am quite homesick, a lot of the time I feel both ways at once. But right now I am in a "love" phase of this relationship and am quite enjoying it. I am really starting to like Asia and I am starting to realize how hard it is going to be to leave here when the time comes.
I am currently really enjoying Asia because it opens your eyes to so many more lifestyles than you are ever introduced to growing up in the mid-west. This is something I did not like so much right when I got here, but I have now learned to appreciate this.
When Elizabeth and I first arrived in Singapore we were quite put off by how many couples we saw in these "relationships" that just didn't seem real - older (usual well off) white men with these young asian girls. We saw this everywhere we went and were quite dicouraged by the prospect of living in a country were it seemed if you weren't young and asian and beautiful it would be nearly impossible to find a partner. (Side note, I now know this is very much not the case. Although I haven't found a boyfriend yet I do not feel like this would be too difficult if I put in some effort.) I just couldn't see what these couples had in common besides the man wanting a young beautiful woman around and the woman wanting his money. I just really didn't like how it all seemed so fake.
I now see this in a very different light. I appreciate the fact that so many people here do not live under the pretence that you will find one person, fall in love, get married and be together faithfully for the rest of your life. I like that many people here look at relationships with, what appears to me to be, a more business like attitude - "what can you give me? what can I give you? can we come to a multually benefical arrangment?". I like that the expectations around relationships are not so black and white here (or at least not in all parts of society, although some are still very traditional).
Now don't freak out, I am not saying I want a life like this for myself, but I am growing to appreciate the openmindedness you must have here in Asia regarding relationships/lifestyle choices. It takes all the presure off. If you judged everyone here on their partner choices or the fact that they have girlfriends/boyfriends on the side or cheat on their spouse regularily you would have trouble building a large social network. Here in Asia (and in some places even more so than Singapore - Hong Kong, Bangkok) you just must accept people for who they are regardless of who they are in a relationship with or how many relationships they are in at the same time.
Now as I'm typing this I am realizing I may see this a bit more than the average person (or maybe not as it might be as prevelant as it appears to me) because I work at a bar. And because my job is in customer service I must treat everyone with respect and I cannot be openly judgemental about my customers. I must be nice and pleasant and have fun with people who live all sorts of lives. I cannot be rude to couples when the male half of the relationship is more than twice the age of the young female half of the relationship. Everyone has things they want and if they find someone else who is willing to give them that in exchange for something they want, then it is great that they have found eachother.
I feel this way today, and this is something I feel I will struggle with back and forth for a while since this is so different from the world I grew up in, but the freedom that society gives you here to do as you please with your relationships is so nice to be around.
Okay, just a few thoughts for now. Who knows, I may feel completely opposite from this in another week. I may hate this very aspect of Asian culture and want to come back to America but for right now I'm really appreciating living here.
Best!
