It is Sunday night right now, 11:00pm, and I am flying down to NZ in three days to spend the weekend with Jason, get acquainted with my new new, and try to find us a place to live. With the reality of this move starting to come up very quickly (as I have already started to pack up my things so I can take a fair bit with me on this trip) I am finding quite a bit of sadness setting in when I think about leaving Singapore.
Of course, as it always is, I never appreciated Singapore when I lived here. Well, maybe I shouldn't be quite so harsh, but now that I know it's coming to an end, I'm trying to suck every last bit of goodness out of my time here.
This evening I went out for dinner with some friends and when we finished up around 9:30pm, I walked all the way home, over 3 miles, by myself, at night, in the warm weather, and never once did I feel unsafe. What an amazing country this is! Jason keeps telling me Wellington is safe, and I'm sure it is, but I am also sure that I will never live in another place again where I feel as safe as I do here in Singapore. Unless, of course, I were to move back to Singapore.
I also realize, on this nice walk home, that I have spent more of my adult (post-college) life in Singapore than I have in any other country. This has become my adult home, and I am leaving it. There are so many things about my life here that I know could be better, but this is the life I have come to know so well, and it is very sad to see it coming to an end.
I am also feeling the end of my life as I have known it these last 4 years since I left the states. Once I move to Wellington, I won't just have myself to consider anymore, I will also have Jason. I can't just do what I want all the time, I will also have to think about his wants and needs. And I will lose that freedom I have had for such a long time.
But all that being said, I am feeling more and more confident with every passing day that this move to Wellington is by far the best decision I could have made. I no longer feel any hesitation or doubt, I feel only calm and confidence that I have made the correct choice. I am looking forward to being able to share my experiences with someone, to having a more steady and normal life, to being in a new county again (or at least a new part of a not-so-new country). I am so excited to head down this new path, sending my life in a completely new direction once again, and am looking forward to seeing where this new path leads. And I hope I will once again have more time so I an share these experiences with you once again.
Sunday, August 13, 2017
Thursday, August 3, 2017
What to do in New Zealand...
My move is coming up now in less than 7 weeks. Yesterday I bought my final one-way flight out of Singapore, destination Welling. With this move I am taking a lot of chances, and a big one is with my job/career. I am leaving a job at a bar that was just named the 12th best bar in Asia to move to country where I have no legal right to work and no leads on jobs. I do think I will probably be able to find something when I get there, but the question of the day is, what kind of job do I want?
I have, for a few weeks now, been set on the idea of getting a job as a waitress at a restaurant, a low-stress job that would allow me a much better work-life balance that I have had for most of the last 2.5 years here in Singapore. But these last few days, maybe the last week, has really had me questioning that line of thinking.
In my current role, I spend a significant portion of my time in the office, doing administrative work and helping to keep the place running for the team. Despite how much I enjoy the working hours this has afforded me, especially when Jason was here and we were able to hang out many nights each week, I have recently started to find my job rather boring. I don't feel like every day is a challenge. I find work quite boring, but I also find that I come home from work exhausted but not tired, my brain feeling like it hasn't been used enough during the day. I much prefer for my brain to have to be working hard all day. When I leave a work day like that, I come home invigorated but ready to sleep. I sleep straight through the night and get up the next day, ready to tackle the next problem at hand.
Working on the floor at a restaurant is generally like this. Every customer is a new challenge, every day brings about another attempt to be as efficient and as effective as possible. With my current job, I don't feel that challenge. And I don't think it is because my job is coming to an end.
Anyways, with this move, this is obviously a great opportunity for me to take a different direction, if I want to. I would like my days to be filled with interesting conversations, readings, learning, and things that I am passionate about. Alcohol, I am not passionate about. It is probably best I do not take another job in a bar.
I am feeling a bit lost at the moment. Lost and bored. I don't find my days intellectually stimulating enough. Work is not a constant challenge. I like to feel pressure but not to feel so overwhelmed I cannot handle it. I like to know there is a lot of work to do, but I also like to know there are some boundaries around my work life. I am bored and I want to be learning again. I want to be gaining new skills, learning new subjects, pushing my brain to work hard every day. I don't feel that is happening at the moment but I am not sure what my next step should be or even what it could be.
I quite often find myself feeling like I don't have any real skills. I'm not skilled in any physical labor jobs. I am also not skilled in any professional jobs - lawyer, doctor, etc... I feel like I am a very capable person, can learn quickly, am very sharp, but I am never going to get a job as I don't have the concrete skills or experience you need to start down any path except for the one I have been on.
Maybe back to school is the answer? I always loved University. Maybe I should study again? But what?
Wow, so much to think about. Before I keep rambling on and on I will bring this post to a close.
Have a great day!
I have, for a few weeks now, been set on the idea of getting a job as a waitress at a restaurant, a low-stress job that would allow me a much better work-life balance that I have had for most of the last 2.5 years here in Singapore. But these last few days, maybe the last week, has really had me questioning that line of thinking.
In my current role, I spend a significant portion of my time in the office, doing administrative work and helping to keep the place running for the team. Despite how much I enjoy the working hours this has afforded me, especially when Jason was here and we were able to hang out many nights each week, I have recently started to find my job rather boring. I don't feel like every day is a challenge. I find work quite boring, but I also find that I come home from work exhausted but not tired, my brain feeling like it hasn't been used enough during the day. I much prefer for my brain to have to be working hard all day. When I leave a work day like that, I come home invigorated but ready to sleep. I sleep straight through the night and get up the next day, ready to tackle the next problem at hand.
Working on the floor at a restaurant is generally like this. Every customer is a new challenge, every day brings about another attempt to be as efficient and as effective as possible. With my current job, I don't feel that challenge. And I don't think it is because my job is coming to an end.
Anyways, with this move, this is obviously a great opportunity for me to take a different direction, if I want to. I would like my days to be filled with interesting conversations, readings, learning, and things that I am passionate about. Alcohol, I am not passionate about. It is probably best I do not take another job in a bar.
I am feeling a bit lost at the moment. Lost and bored. I don't find my days intellectually stimulating enough. Work is not a constant challenge. I like to feel pressure but not to feel so overwhelmed I cannot handle it. I like to know there is a lot of work to do, but I also like to know there are some boundaries around my work life. I am bored and I want to be learning again. I want to be gaining new skills, learning new subjects, pushing my brain to work hard every day. I don't feel that is happening at the moment but I am not sure what my next step should be or even what it could be.
I quite often find myself feeling like I don't have any real skills. I'm not skilled in any physical labor jobs. I am also not skilled in any professional jobs - lawyer, doctor, etc... I feel like I am a very capable person, can learn quickly, am very sharp, but I am never going to get a job as I don't have the concrete skills or experience you need to start down any path except for the one I have been on.
Maybe back to school is the answer? I always loved University. Maybe I should study again? But what?
Wow, so much to think about. Before I keep rambling on and on I will bring this post to a close.
Have a great day!
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