Mustafa Center

So I just got back from the Mustafa Center - the best store in the entire world - and I want to have the opportunity to stay in Singapore more than ever. For a bit about the Mustafa Center - it is basically every store you have ever been in, all in one, and it's open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now I'll use the grocery store part of the store just as an example as to what the entire store is like. In the grocery store part of the Mustafa Center there are at least 5 aisles dedicated just to chocolate bars. Now think about how much space chocolate bars would have in a normal grocery store - 1/2 an aisles, maybe. So we're talking like 10 X the normal amount of chocolate. Now multiply that times everything you would find in a normal grocery store and you have the mustafa center. And that is just the grocery store part. They sell everything there - what you would at Target, what you would find at Sears, what you would find in the make-up/perfume area of a department store, and I'm sure much more. I haven't explored the entire Mustafa Center yet, only a few areas of a few floors. And, to top it all off, you can buy anything you want there any time of the day or night. Which would be perfect if you want to get something after getting off a late shift, or need something early in the morning (we have done both of these already and it is so convenient!). This is now my main reason for wanting to stay in Singapore. :)

One other reason is so that I can train for Muay Thai fighting. I have been to two Muay Thai classes in the last week here in Singapore and love it! It is everything you want in a workout all in one. Cardio - since you never stop moving for the entire class - weights - since you have to use all your muscles to punch, kick, or resist your partner's punches and kicks - and you leave feeling so full of energy and so exhausted all at the same time. The club is expensive, but it's unlimited access to classes and they have times that would be right before my job if I worked at place #3 which would be perfect. It would also compliment my prison fit very nicely.

That's all for now. Two more reasons to stay here in Singapore. I'm keep my attitude positive, hope for the best, and keep finding reasons to stay here in Singapore.

Best!

Birthday Card

So it was my 25th birthday one week ago today. I am now a quarter century old. I would like to say it feels different, but I had been telling people for the few months up until my birthday that I was 25 already so it doesn't.

For my birthday we went out to the top of the Marina Bay Sands hotel here in Singapore, to Ku De Ta bar, and had a fabulous time. By "we" I mean Elizabeth, Richard, Eugene (a new friend of ours), and myself. Here's a photo of me with the fabulous skyline in the background:

And just this morning a birthday card showed up for me here in Singapore from an old college friend, a Ms. Dani Anderson. Thank you so much Dani! It is just no nice to get mail on the other side of the world knowing all the thought and planning that must go into sending it.

And I did get the electronic birthday wishes from others as well - Peggy, Barb, and Mary, Jim and Terri, Allyson, Cristina, Caroline. Thank you.

Hope all is well back home!

Best!

Feeling Confused

I'm just not sure how I'm feeling right now about anything - staying here, going somewhere else, going to Australia, going to Dubai, going home. For quite a while I felt like I really wanted a job - which I still do. Then I got really excited about working at place #3 here in Singapore, dedicating pretty much my entire life to my work. Now that I haven't heard from place #3 in a while and I'm having to fill my time with other things - exploring the city, working out, reading, planning a trip to Cambodia - I am no longer as interested in dedicating my life to that job. Not that I couldn't get excited about it again, but I really like when things just work out quickly. I feel like I can really live in the moment, and once that moment has passed sometimes it is hard for me to get back to it. I can very quickly move from one reality to the next, almost completely forgetting the other one ever existed. Example: it almost doesn't even feel like I ever lived in NZ - and I felt like that only a couple weeks after leaving. Now, 6 or 7 weeks later I feel like I almost have no memories of it at all. (That isn't totally true, but it feels like it sometimes. It feel so much like my past - like it was years ago - and I only left a month and a half ago.)

That said, I feel like I am losing momentum for the job at place #3. I have spent this week working out a lot - I found a great evening kick boxing class and have really been getting into prison fit. I have found some great spots around Singapore to enjoy. I have bought a few new books to read. And with my new job I won't have time for really any of this and that is feeling a bit scary. What about the rest of my life?!

Anyways, I am happy it's not warm back in MN right now because I am contemplating coming home. If the weather was nice I likely would, but since it is still cold there I am going to stay away at least a few more months until the weather warms up.

I think the only reason I am even thinking about coming back to America is because it would be easy. I would be able to move in with my parents for the short term, get a serving job quite easily, get my finances back in the positive quickly (I still have money in the bank I just hate only spending with nothing coming in), and still have time to enjoy my life, my friends, get fit, read, etc.... And it would really nice to be doing something easy right now.

I think Singapore isn't seeming as hard as it could, however, since I've already done this once in NZ. I haven't given up it just gets exhausting.

And one thing I was saying to Elizabeth today, which I likely never would have felt before this experience, is that I would give anything my full effort. If I went back to America and decided one day I wanted to live and working in NYC or Nashville or Miami or where ever, I would get on a plane, go there, and try to do it without connections, without a plan, without anything. The idea of doing that doesn't intimidate me anymore. If it's supposed to work out it will. If it's not supposed to work out it won't. I can put in my best effort and something either will or won't come of it. But you can't lose anything from trying.

I'm now feeling better that I've written this.

For the next few days Elizabeth and I are going to be working our way through a book on the history of SE Asia. I will also be reading a tour guide book on Angkor so that I have some idea of what I want and don't want to see when I get there. I will have some idea of what I'm looking at and what it might mean.

And hopefully, at some point soon, I will hear back from place #3 about a job. And if by the time I get back from Cambodia in 1 week I haven't heard from then I will probably do travel asia for 3 more weeks before returning to Singapore at the end of February to interview with Emirates Air. And if that doesn't work out, which I don't even want to think about, it would be Australia or back home.

But I'm done thinking about contingency plans. That hasn't gotten me anywhere before - I just need to think about now and put my positive energy there. To get a job at place #3 here in Singapore, then find a place to live, then find a kick boxing gym that has classes at times that I can attend, continue to do my prison fit workouts, read a bit here and there, and make this work!

Okay, that's it. I'm going with that. Singapore is going to work out!

Night!

Cambodia

So I just bought a ticket to Cambodia - AHHH! I am trying to make it to 10 new countries this year (in Asia) and so far I'm at one - Thailand. Since I am just here in Singapore waiting for visa spot to open with my possible new job I figure there is no better time than now to travel because once I get a job that freedom will all be over. So, I am going to Siem Reap on Monday for three nights. I will be visiting Angkor Wat, hopefully making a few friends, just seeing another new country, eating some new food. Can't wait!

Job Hunting in Singapore - Part 2

With Monday came on news but thankfully things started to happen on Tuesday. I heard back from both places #2 and #3. Place #2 sent me a contract/offer that at first glance seemed nice. Since Richard, who we are staying with here in Singapore, is a lawyer, I let the interviewer know that all looked good at first glance but that I would be reviewing the contract with my attorney. I also asked if it would be possible for me to visit the restaurant and meet the manager as I hadn't seen either. That night I reviewed the contract with Richard, came up with points to discuss on that, and also questions to ask the restaurant manager. As I will explain shortly, getting a job with place #2 was going to be a big commitment and I needed to make sure I was making the right decision if/when I signed the contract.

So, why it was such a big commitment. As a foreigner here in Singapore, I need to get sponsorship for a work visa. The most likely visa that I will be getting is an S-Pass. This is a 2-year visa that is paid for by my employer and is not cheap. It can cost them $600/month just in visa fees. Plus, since there is a quota for foreign workers, if they hire me that means they can't hire someone else. Because the costs of the visa are so great, with the contract at place #2 I would be financially bound to them at a cost of $5000 if I were to break my contract within the first 2 years. I also have to give 60 days notice and if I don't I can have up to 60 days worth of salary withheld. This would add up to $11,000 if I had to leave quickly in within the first 2 years. On top of this I got 3 days of grievance leave - enough to just get back and forth between Singapore and MPLS - in case a parent were to die. Can you imagine having a dead parent and being out $11,000? That'd suck! This was the biggest part of the contract, but there were other points as well, that made signing this contract a rather large commitment.

On Tuesday I also heard back from place #3 about going in to do a trial on Friday. With this date set I was hoping to drag out the contract negotiations with place #2 at least until Friday so then I could at least make a comparison between places #2 & #3. And now, after receiving a decent offer from place #2 I was able to e-mail place #1 and eliminate them for good.

This brings us to Wednesday. With my contract points decided and my questions in hand for the manager I headed down to the actually restaurant where I would be working with place #2 to meet with the GM. I was originally scheduled to meet with the interviewer and the GM but the interviewer was not able to make it at the last minute, pushing the contract negotiations until the next day. I did not, however, mind as this meant I could deal with these items separately - what the place is/if I like it and  what I want for a contract.

When I arrived to meet with the GM I was seated at a table in the bar and not offered anything to drink. It is really weird to me to go in and interview at a hospitality place and not be offered anything to drink, although this has happened to me almost every time here now in Singapore. Just thought I'd point it out. The GM came in a few moments later and I think he thought he was interviewing me as he asked for my CV, which I had brought, and then started asking about my background. I quickly, yet still tastefully, made it clear that I was not there for him to interview me but rather the other way around, for me to make sure I like the place and want to work there. As the conversation went on red flags started popping up.

First was during the tour. He was showing me the restaurant and told me there were 3 main sections some with upwards of 40 seats. That is way too many seats in one section - not at all something I would want. The second red flag came when I asked what he looks for in a successful employee and he responded "up-selling and profitability." And that was his whole answer. Nothing about customer service skills, at all. And for me, working under the pressure of having to up-sell only makes me do a worse job at everything. I do not like to work in conditions like that. And the third red flag was that he was talking about his employees in front of them (although I don't think they heard him) in a negative way. I didn't like that he would do that, it just seemed really rude. And he didn't talk about the places for the restaurant to improve, he talked about the failings of individual employees to me, someone who didn't even work there yet. With all this new information I just didn't have a great feeling about the place. And after telling Elizabeth and Rich and hearing their feedback I knew it just probably wasn't going to work. But, I also wasn't willing to totally rule it out yet as I want to stay in Singapore and they were willing to sponsor my visa.

I went to the contract negotiation meting the following day, Thursday, with place #2, discussed my contract concerns to which she was receptive, but one last red flag came up in this meeting, when the interviewer told me that the contract was written to protect them as a company. When Rich read through the contract he had made a similar comment that is lays out all their rights/benefits/etc... but none of mine as the employee. I didn't like how the contract was totally one sided. We ended the meeting, she told me she would speak with her director and get back to me. Friday I had a new contract, with my requested changes in my in-box, but I didn't feel any better about the place, and really only worse.

Friday was also my day of trialing at place #3, the fine-dining restaurant. Before the trial I just wasn't sure if I even wanted to work there, and during the trial I realized just how hard a job there would be. The hours are long with a work day anywhere from 11-15 hours and working 6 days a week. You are on your feet constantly, everything is extremely particular, and there is no room for error. The team works like a well-oiled machine and getting to a point where I would feel comfortable on the team would likely take a while. So much to learn, so much to do, just so much going on. But, in comparison to place #2 it looked fabulous. Leaving the trial I had made up my mind, place #2 was out, place #3 was my top choice and now I just had to keep my fingers crossed - again.

At the end of the day Friday I was supposed to meet with the Executive Chef/Owner of place #3 to discuss the role/restaurant. This didn't happen as he was meeting with a client and thus I went back on Saturday afternoon to meet with him. This meeting lasted about an hour, I wasn't really sure I did a very good job, but as the meeting wrapped up he made it clear he was interested in having my join the team, I would just need to wait for a visa spot to open up.

How defeated I felt. I was so happy that he wanted me on the team but I don't have unlimited time and resources to continue living in Singapore without an income. Richard had been wonderful letting us stay with him rent-free but we can only impose so long. I hate continually drawing out of my savings account without anything going in, and I down right bored of not having a job. And the prospect of them not getting a visa for me soon at place #3 is unbearable. What would I do next? I don't want to leave Asia. I don't want to fail at this goal. I want this to happen the first time. I want to make it work. I want to do what I set my mind to do.

I told the chef I would likely stay here for 2 more weeks and if something didn't happen I'd have to move on. Truth is I really don't know what I would do. The next logical step is likely Dubai and try to get a job with Emirates Air. They are having a job fair in Singapore on February 28th so that is always an option, but I don't really want to think about or plan for that as I want to stay and work my ass of and save some money and live in Asia and work at one of the top restaurants in the world (place #3 is ranked within the top 50 restaurants in the world).

But all this waiting, all this uncertainty, is making me question what I am doing here. Why am I just floating around here when I could be back in MN with my family? What if I burn through most of my savings and still don't have any prospects on the horizon? What is the point of trying to live in Asia - this is just so exhausting!

I know that I have to try, and I am going to stay and keep hoping that they come up with something soon mostly because I don't know what else to do. I know that accomplishing my goal of living on every continent by the time I'm 35 would be an awesome goal to accomplish - and with place #3 on my resume it would be very easy to get a job in Europe after this. - but right now I am just really questioning if I made the right decision. I came to Asia with no clue what I was doing and am now trying to get a job and start a life in a country and culture I know almost nothing about. Since arriving back in Singapore on January 15th I have learned so much about how jobs, visas, apartments, everything really works here. I realize now I could have likely done more research before I got here, but I would likely still be in the same position as I am now. I just really want it all to work out. But, I also know, that no matter how it works out - success, failure, somewhere in between - this experience will provide me with lots of lessons and stories for the future.

I now feel much better after writing this blog post. This is like group therapy for me sometimes.

So where we are now. It is Tuesday and I am waiting. I e-mailed place #2 two days ago (Sunday night) to let them know I would not be taking the position and I did not hear back. I will hopefully hear back from place #3 in the next few days. I may take a trip this weekend to Hong Kong or Cambodia or somewhere to get away for a few days while I still don't have a job and see another part of Asia. I am just trying to stay busy, stay positive, and keep myself open to other possibilites.

That's all for now, folks.

Best!

P.S. I was just watching CSI (the original) and at the end of Season 12, Episode 10 they explain where the "cake-eater" term comes from for Edina. I lived in MN for 23 years and just learned this while watching TV in Singapore. However, I did get a bit too excited to actually pay attention so I didn't actually hear the story. But, I just googled the transcript and here is what I got:

In the 1900s, Alrik Magnar Hojem was one of the richest men in Edina, Minnesota.
And legend has it, that because of his vast wealth and enormous ego, he earned the nickname "cake-eaters," a derogatory term used to describe all Edina residents by their less affluent neighbors.

Have fun watching!

Job Hunting in Singapore - Part 1

So we have been back in Singapore now for the last week and a half and I have been busy with interviews, trials, and contract negotiations. The entire process has been quite an experience - a roller coaster really of ups and downs, great changes in opinion on all the places, and general uncertainty on what I want to do and my future. I will now go back and do my best to recount the experiences of these last 10 days in as much detail as possible.

We arrived here in Singapore in the very last moments of Wednesday, January 14th going through customs just after midnight on the 15th. I had three job interviews lined up over the following 3 days and had purchased my interview outfit and shoes only the day before in Bangkok. I was feeling excited about the fact that I was able to line up so many interviews and couldn't wait to get started on the process. But it's a strange feeling interviewing for jobs in a foreign country, where you really don't know how anything works - we have learned heaps about everything in Singapore over the last 10 days!!

Before my first interview on the 15th, with place #1 (I am going to refer to the places by numbers so as I can be more honest that way), I was so nervous I almost couldn't stand it. Elizabeth was drilling me on interview questions, I was practicing my answers, looking up facts about the restaurant on-line, and mostly trying not to throw-up. The interview as scheduled for 2:30, Elizabeth and I had been waiting across the street in the Starbucks for about an hour, and I headed over just after 2:15.

When I arrived at place #1, a specialty cocktail bar, they were closed for service. Many restaurants here are open for a few hours over lunch and then again over dinner, but are not open all throughout the day. The front door was open so I let myself in and wandered back into the kitchen to where I could hear some noise and told the staff that I was there to meet with the manager. I took a seat, as instructed, in the restaurant around 2:20 and waited for the manager to arrive. She walked in maybe 5 minutes later and was surprised to find me there. She commented on how I was early and seemed a bit weirded out that I would be there before 2:30. I wouldn't dare show up for an interview on time - as you would too easily run the risk of being late - and found her reaction quite strange.

Anyways, she got me a glass of water and then sat down with me a few moments later. This turned out to be the strangest interview I have even had in my life. When the manager sat down she started into a 10 minutes talk about the place. This was great an informative. Upon finishing her schpeel she turned to me and said "Now tell me about yourself." Well how vague could that be?! I talked a bit about my background - where I come from, my job history, etc.. - and then feeling as if she wasn't going to ask me to any more questions if I stopped talking I then talked to some of the points she had brought up in her explanation about the bar. After this we had a bit more of a chat - but nothing like an interview - and then she told me she was going to send me an offer including a visa sponsorship. Wow - I was stunned! She hadn't asked my about my experience, my skills, my theory on hospitality, anything. She had, however, warned me that any competitive attitudes amongst employees would not be tolerated - and that she'd be happy to fire anyone who brought negative energy to the environment.

I left and thought, this is great. First interview down and already an offer to come - I'm not going to have any problem getting a job and visa for Singapore. One thing I did find weird, however, is that she was going to send me an offer without us even discussing what I wanted for compensation. (For a bit on this, in Singapore you are paid a salary, not an hourly wage. Plus, in hospitality you typically work 6 days a week, pushing 55 to 60 hours or more. I would like to get paid something comparable to NZ but I know this isn't going to happen. But I also know Singapore is very expensive and I need a good amount of money to make it here. What I would like is at least my NZ salary if I worked 40 hours a week, even though I know I'll be working way more than that.) Either way, I was awaiting her offer.

Later that evening I received an e-mail from place #1 asking about money - how much I wanted - and I made my case for wanted to get paid a comparable amount to NZ. The dollars are almost 1:1, the cost of living is much higher here, and I would be working longer hours for a fixed salary. I sent her all this in an e-mail and crossed my fingers.

Now it was time to prepare for place #2, the front runner in my mind at this time, a large company with 12 different outlets all with totally different themes - much like Parasole in MPLS, with places ranging from Chino Latino to Good Earth to Pittsburg Blue. This interview was at 2pm at one of their outlets. Before hand I had done some research and decided that one of their higher end outlets would be preferable vs. one of their more casual daytime cafes. When I got there I immediatley worried that she, the interviewer, didn't realize I was going to be a foreigner. Although my resume only has places listed outside of Singapore - America and NZ - everyone in the cafe was Asian, she was Asian, and so were all the other people she was interviewing. Was this going to be a problem? Would she immediately dismiss me? (For a note on this - visa sponsorship here in Singapore is very expensive. It costs the company hundreds of dollars/month. Plus, they can only hire one foreign employee for every 4 singaporeans on staff, so the number of available visas could be small or non-existent).

The interview ended up going great! We had a wonderful chat, she already had a career path lined up for me, and once again said she would get back to me soon with an offer. Nice! Second interview down and a second offer on the table! I really couldn't be happier at all now! This was awesome!

When I got home from interviewing with place #2, I had a missed call from an unknown number (this is on my new Singaporean cell phone!). I called the number back and it was the manager from place #1. She wanted to let me know that what I was asking for as far as pay was concerned was very high. A typical employee here in hospitality (as well as accounting or marketing, according to her) gets paid between $5 - $10 per hour. She told me to talk to some other people and get back to her with my pay expectations. I ended the conversation with that.

I could not believe that she wanted me to get back to her with what I wanted to get paid. She already knew what I wanted to get paid, I wasn't going to lower my ask, and anyways, how was I supposed to live in Singapore on $800/month! She's crazy! And, at place #2, the interviewer was not put off by my monetary compensation ask and thus I was not going to lower my ask. If she was going to try and pay me $5/hour I was going to get on a plane back to the US and work there where I could make hundreds in tips every night. I sent her an e-mail a few days later telling her I would not be lowering my ask (after getting an official offer from place #2). At that point, the manager from place #1 responded and told me that she could not pay me that much and was only going to have me on staff as a favor to me (a total stranger) and not because they actually needed the staff. This place was out of the running.

So with interview #2 done I was preparing for place #3. Now when I received the e-mail back from place #3 regarding setting up an interview I didn't even remember applying there. When I went into their website and realized they were fine-dining I didn't even know if I wanted to work there. But what harm can come from going to an interview, right? Now this may have been the shortest interview of my life - maybe 10 minutes. It was rather informal, but still an interview - unlike the first one - and towards the end, the general manager (who I was interviewing with), told me they would be in touch. I was crushed - did I really do that bad at the interview?! Damn it! And then he said he would talk to the executive chef/owner - whom the restaurant is named after - and figure out a time for me to come in for a trial. A big sigh of relief - I wasn't bad. They would be in touch to get me in to see the place. Yay!

So at this point we are on Saturday (last Saturday) afternoon. Being the weekend it was not a waiting game. I had not yet told #1 I wasn't interested, although I had already mentally eliminated them from the running. I was waiting on a contract/offer from #2 that I would be getting in the next week, they were still my front-runner. And I was waiting to hear back from #3 about when I could come in for a trial, although I wasn't sure I really wanted this job. I was hoping I would hear back from #3 about a trial before getting the contract from #2 so I could at least consider them both. I was also hoping the contract from #2 would offer good enough money that I could tell #1 I wouldn't lower my expectations. And I was just going to have to wait until Monday, at the earliest, to hear anything from anyone.

Rest of the story to come....

Riding the Bus in Bangkok

Tomorrow Elizabeth and I are going to meet a local woman, Nuch, who will teach us how to cook some Thai food. She is married to a friend of Elizabeth's father who will also be joining us. To get to where we are meeting her we will be taking bus. I was just looking up how the bus works (routes, fares, etc.) and this is what I found about bus fares in Bangkok:

• Orange air-conditioned buses, 11-24 baht depending on distance
• New yellow air-conditioned buses, 10-12 flat fee
• Non-air conditioned buses, 8 baht
• Red buses (non-air conditioned), 7 baht
• After 10.00pm 1.5 Baht extra
• About half of the red buses are free
• Tickets bought on board, change is given
• All kinds of buses operate all routes

Literally copied and pasted from their website. What a set of fare rules! I guess we are going to hope for a red bus? That way we have a 50% chance of not having to pay? I guess? Confusing! We'll let you know tomorrow how it all turns out!

A Day of Rest

Last night Elizabeth and I went out on Khao San Road, the road in Bangkok full of backpackers and bars and such. We had a great time, but have now spent the entire day today recovering - lying in bed watching prison documentaries and taking turns going out into the world to get food that we would sneak back into our room and eat. About 7 pm we finally both decided to take a shower. We then watched an extremely disturbing movie about child sex trafficking and as I'm writing this Elizabeth is out getting us a bit ore fruit (nutrition) and then we'll have one funny movie and then it's bed time. A lazy wasted day here but now we can say we've been there and done that when it comes to Khao San Road. Tomorrow - more sightseeing and shopping at the weekend markets!

My Experience is a True and Valid Experience

This morning I had a nice long Skype call with my father and I thought I would share some of it with you. Plus, it ties in nicely to a conversation I had over lunch with a gentleman, Andrew, as well.

I called my father this morning to chat about the fact that he’s been asking me to put photos on my blog and I haven’t done it. I was quite annoyed with him for asking because I already spend so much time working on my blog, along with everything else I try to do, that I get frustrated that he was asking me to do more work. Plus, I was already feeling bad about the fact that I haven’t put any up in quite a while. This is for 2 reasons, (1) I just haven’t made the time to do it. I don’t always feel like I have the time, but I could always make it and I just haven’t. and (2) I haven’t been taking as many photos here in Asia as I was taking in other places. This is mainly because having my camera out and standing around taking lots of photos, especially in the more interesting parts of the cities like the markets and such would make me stick out even more than I already do and I don’t always want to bring that added attention to myself. I try to look as little like a tourist as possible, and I think I tend to do a rather good job. I rarely pull out a map in public, I always walk like I know where I’m going even when I don’t, and I tend not to stand around gawking at things like a tourist would do. And in a city like Bangkok, where so many white people do live, it is plausible that I could live here and I want people to think that I do.

Since we are currently staying in a rather touristy part of town, being in our immediate neighborhood would imply that I am likely a tourist. And since I can’t speak a work of Thai there isn’t a ton that I can do to make people think I’m not. And being white, and a woman, you get a lot of unwanted attention. Now I’m starting to finally get to what I was talking with my father about this morning: It is exhausting being a woman in Asia not traveling with a man. And this seems to be something most men just don’t understand.

Simply walking down the street you get a lot more attention than a man would, or than a woman would who is walking with a man. Men are constantly calling to you, they don’t respect that when you say “no” to whatever they are offering that means no, and when you decline their offer for a taxi or tuktuk they think the next plausible question to ask is “where are you going?” or “where are you staying?” as if that is any of their business. Now I’m sure this happens to men and couples as well, but I can’t imagine a lot of men in the west asking a single woman walking down the street where she is going or where she is staying if they didn’t have the intention of trying to make her feel uncomfortable. Here, this doesn’t seem to occur to them, or they don’t seem to care.

It is also an adjustment being in a country where everywhere people are constantly trying to scam you. The government, police, and all the tourist organizations, as well as the tourists, are well aware of this. Everyone is constantly warning you about being scammed. And this then puts you on the defensive regarding pretty much anyone who approaches you. And I just don’t like living like this – like I can’t trust anyone, that if someone offers to help me find a place I’m looking for or offer me something I need I shouldn’t trust them. When I walk down the street I put my blinders on, keep my eyes pointing forward, ignoring everyone that calls out to me, and I this puts me in a bad mood. I am a generally outgoing and trusting and friendly person but living in a place like this teaches you not to be that way and I’m getting tired of it. I just want to get back to a place where strangers do care, and you can trust people for the most part.

And this brings me up to my next point – I am sick of people tell me where I should and shouldn’t go, what I should and shouldn’t do, etc… I know I was guilty of this when I worked at Ortolana, but I don’t like being on the receiving end and am thus going to try to put in a concerted effort not to give out unsolicited advice about other people’s vacations. I don’t care to go out every night in Bangkok – and that’s okay. I didn’t like Kuala Lumpur because I though it was unsafe – and that is my experience, not yours, and if yours was different it doesn’t mean mine wasn’t real. I don’t want to go to Phuket – and I just don’t want to go so don’t tell me I should. And unless someone asks me about what I think they should or shouldn’t do when they go to America or New Zealand or anywhere else they might be going, I’m going to try to keep my mouth shut about whatever they are doing.

This especially keeps happening when Elizabeth and I tell people we want to move to Singapore, and this happened to me at lunch today with Andrew, and I don’t want to hear it anymore. And people tell me it is a bad idea is only making me want to go there and prove everyone wrong and show them how great of a city Singapore really is.

So at lunch today I met a gentleman named Andrew. He was born in Chicago but raised in London and has now been living the last 7 years in Asia – the first year in India and now the last 6 in Bangkok. I told him today that I wanted to live in Singapore and he didn’t agree that it is good place to live. He asked me why I wanted to live there, to which I told him that it is safe and clean. He then asked me if these things are important to me – as if they shouldn’t be – and I replied yes. He then asked me if I like the “sterility” as well (this is the number one complaint I hear about Singapore, that it’s “sterile” – and since everyone uses this exact same term it’s hard for me to believe people aren’t simply regurgitating what others have told them to think) and I told him that I want to live there and I’m not going to change my mind. When you’re a 6’6” white male, safety likely isn’t something you think about because you probably rarely feel unsafe. You don’t have men watching you as you walk by, or following you through the streets. You don’t have people asking you where you’re staying or how old you are. When you’re a 5’6” white female, safety is something you think about a lot when you’re not in a western country with a reliable police force and where you can understand what signals men are sending and what the signals they think you are sending to them. I want to live in Singapore, I am going to live in Singapore, and if people keep telling me it’s a sterile country with no soul and that all these other places I’ve been to are safe I’m just going to prove them all wrong. I am going to go to Singapore on Wednesday, I am going to get myself a job, I am going to live there safely for the next year, and then I am going to be Singapore’s number one fan. And if you don’t agree, and you’re a man, than you can keep your opinion to yourself. If you don’t agree and you are a single woman who is living without a male partner in one of these other Asian countries I would love to hear from you about your experience.

Now one other thing I have decided is that this is the perfect opportunity for me to practice doing what I want to do, and not caring what other people think. I will admit that this is not something that comes easy to me. This is probably for a few different reasons, (1) I have always had such supportive parents that I am used to them encouraging me to do what I think is best. (2) I usually make good and responsible decisions so most other people usually don’t have a reason not to support me. (3) My friends are usually supportive of my decisions as well. (4) Most things I do usually work out for the best so I am used to getting support – at least after the fact – that I did the right thing. Now I’m not trying to say that I’m going to start doing things that are dumb, but I am just going to start practicing doing as I please, and not letting other people’s opinions bother me – although evident from the first part of this post, they clearly do. I’m sure this will be a nice long project for me, likely lasting many years.

I am going to move to Singapore because I feel safe there and safety is important to me. I am going to move to Singapore because my wages will be the highest there, even though cost of living will also be very high, and because I like how efficient the city is. I am going to move to Singapore because I enjoy living in a well-organized and clean city, even if some people think it’s sterile. I am going to move to Singapore because people there speak English and my customer service skills will be most appreciated there, even if this means all my money will be going to rent. And I am going to enjoy it – and if I don’t, I can always leave and move to Bangkok – a “safe” city, full of culture and soul, and dirt, and creepy men, and obnoxious tourists, where few people pay any attention to road rules, it takes for ever to get anywhere because there are markets all over the sidewalks and way fewer people speak either of the languages I know how to communicate in.

That’s all on that topic for now. Hopefully we won’t have to revisit it anytime soon. With that I’m taking a break right now. I’ve got all my photos up onto my computer now and will try to get a post together in the next couple of days with some shots from Malaysia and Thailand.

Best!

I just don't have time

I may have set myself up with too many goals for this next year. Between exercising, reading, blogging, and traveling - along with just trying to enjoy my time, go out and do things, and get enough sleep - I just don't always have enough time (or really energy) to get everything done and some things just end up sliding. And these last few days it has been the blog. I've found a couple of great shows on netflix that I've been enjoying - and since I rarely watch tv anymore this has been great. I also have been doing more exploring of the city than I was back in Penang so generally more busy that way. And, I'm really getting into my reading and exercise routines. I guess I'm really just still learning, as I likely will be my whole life, what I have time for, what I don't, and what I care to put time into, and these last few days the blog just hasn't been one of the things I've cared to do. I'm sorry if you've been looking forward to a great post and haven't gotten one, I've been too busy watching prison shows. I've also been doing my bodyweight exercises, shopping for very cheap clothes, eating fried rice for every meal, getting about 7-10 servings of fruits and veggies every day, trying not to get run over by a car or motorcycle or store, all while trying to just get out and be in this crazy city. 

A few quick notes: ran into the first person I know today, Sarah Allen, a girl I worked with back in NZ. I'm surprised it took this long but Bangkok felt like the most logical place. Ran into her in the bathroom at the central world mall. Crazy!

On my second day here I had the first person mistake me for a local - always cool!

I don't think I wrote about the fact that I used my first squat toilet ever on the trip from Hat Yai up to Bangkok. It's basically what it sounds like, a hole in the floor you squat over. I was very nervous and for good reason, I ended up peeing on my foot! Everyone told be it'd be find but I doubted them and my worries came true. Good thing the bathrooms are more like wet rooms here, so I just washed off my foot in there with the bucket of extra water you use to "flush" the toilet. 

What else.... 

Probably will be temple day tomorrow. 

Yesterday I went to the museum but was so hot and tired I only looked at a few things before giving up and going home. 

Today didn't do much. Went to a nice western cafe this morning where we met an Irish guy we didn't really like - kind of rude and really opinionated, in a rude way. Then bought my Thailand book this afternoon and then did some good people watching this evening. 3 mesls of fried rice, 7 servings of fruits and veggies - maybe more, pull and core exercises. 

That's all now, good night! 

Exhausted

As you all know, I was up late last night writing my blog post for yesterday. Despite the fact that I likely didn't fall asleep until 2 am, I still woke up around 8:30. 6.5 hours of sleep is definitely not enough for me!

I decided to head to Chinatown today, walking. Well although this got me some great exercise - I'm sure I walked about 10 kms today - or likely more. My legs are absolutely exhausted, as am I.

And to top it all off, Bangkok was no less overwhelming today than it was yesterday. Although I am finding the area near our hotel less and less overwhelming, as I'm getting more and more used to it, the rest of Bangkok is still crazy. Chinatown has so many people in it, so many markets, and on my walk there I was getting more attention that I wanted - I walked through a few neighborhoods where I'm guessing white people don't tend to go as often... After wandering Chinatown for a few minutes, lost, confused, and totally exhausted, I finally sought shelter in a Starbucks where I could finally get my bearings. I headed back out, more calm now and more ready to take in the sights, and wandered the markets for a while. I didn't find anything worth buying. After my time in Chinatown I caved and took the metro back. I just couldn't walk any longer.

Once I got off the metro, still half a kilometer or more from the hotel, I wandered the markets there looking for some new clothes. I couldn't find what I was looking for and finally retired to the hotel in exhaustion where I got in a great nap.

This evening Elizabeth and I ventured back out and I did find a couple of dressed I liked for THB$320. More than I wanted to spent but in reality it's still only USD$9.72. But when you hand someone $320 it just seems like so much money! Plus since you can't try them on you just have trust. I go them home and after some work I think they will both be good - I'll make them work.

A few side comments before I hit the hay:

- I had my first person ask me for directions yesterday, only about 26 hours after I got to Bangkok! She asked if I lived here and I of course said no but helped her anyways. I always love the first time someone asks if you are a local, such a good feeling.

- The consumerism as I have seen it in Bangkok is on a level I cannot even believe exists. They have street markets everywhere  - in every neighborhood I've been to so far - and by 9 am this morning when I set out for the day, the markets were open and packed. People were shopping for clothes, shoes, jewelry, whatever, before work! And then they go strong, really strong, all day and then into the evening. I seriously can't believe people can buy this much stuff all the time. Where do they even put it all? They must all have personal walk-in closets to hold all the stuff they own. (Of course they don't but it just feels like people here never stop buying things!).

Okay, time for bed now.

Best!

Exploring Bangkok

Today was my first full day exploring Bangkok. Elizabeth and I split up for the day – mostly because I just need some alone time. I love Elizabeth but being that I’m an only child and am used to having my own space I just need a few days of being on my own. Around 9 am I headed out in the direction of a café I found online. Although I don’t really want to be spending all my time at Western cafes and eating Western food, it can be surprisingly helpful when exploring a new city to at least have a goal. It gets you out, gets you walking the streets of city, and introduces you to parts of the city you may not have otherwise visited. The coffee shop was 2 kms away from the hotel. I studied the route on Google maps, marked the location on my paper map, and headed out.

Bangkok is not necessarily the most pedestrian friendly city out there. It isn’t especially non-pedestrian friendly – it’s better than KL where there are almost no pedestrian crossings at all – as they have crosswalks, but at many intersections the entire pedestrian walkway system is elevated. This is great if you can do lots of stairs easily as it gets you above the crazy traffic and you can walk easily around a very busy intersection with no problem. But imagine if you can’t walk well – or god forbid are in a wheelchair – you’d be screwed. There are no elevators (at least none that I’ve seen yet) and at these intersections with elevated walkways there are no street crossings so there is no other option. I’m just glad I have two well functioning legs – and I’ll have some even better looking ones by the time I leave.

It took me maybe 30 minutes to get to the area where the café was. I will be quite honest I did not really enjoy the walk. I was stressed out – walking somewhere new, in a new city, not sure how people would react to my presence (we’ve been so used to being harassed constantly in Malaysia I was on high alert for this) – and just wanted to get there. I walked rather fast, I’m sure I looked nervous, and I tried not to interact with anyone. Closed off body language, that’s for sure.

When I made it to the neighborhood I quickly realized how detrimental it could be not to have written down the address and not to have a phone with Internet so I can use the map function. I wandered in circles for maybe 20 minutes before finally finding the café, not very far from where I thought it was, but not in the exact spot Google maps had said so I almost missed it. How upset I would have been to walk 2kms in the “wrong” direction from all the tourist attractions only to have to get a coffee at Starbucks! I went into the café, had my coffee, did a bit on the Internet, and then headed back out onto the streets of Bangkok towards my activity for the day, the Jim Thompson house.

This house was approximately 3 kms from the coffee shop but just off the same main road as the coffee shop (and near many places I had been the day before) so I didn’t really have to focus as I walked. I was able to relax, enjoy the walk, smile at all the people I saw, buy another coffee off the street at a much more reasonable price, and enjoy a bit of the street food. I wandered on and on down the road, through many food markets, over and under many elevated walkways, across main roads, and rivers. Somewhere along the way I was pulling shut the zipper of my purse when the leather pull-tab broke. This was fabulous because this now gave me another thing to do – go to the store and see about getting it fixed! Nice – another task for the day!

The Jim Thompson house is very close to the largest shopping malls here in Bangkok so before heading to the house I went into the shopping mall, found the store I needed, waited in line to get in (this is a bit ridiculous but seen all over Asia) and then talked to the sales clerk. She said they would fix it free of charge (Bonus!) but they have to send the purse away for repairs, which takes a month. I cannot send it until I am in Singapore as they send it back to the same store from which it came. (Now another reason I really need to buckle down in Singapore and get a job – I need to stay at least one month to get my purse back!) Errand complete I headed for the house.

By this time it was approaching 12 and I hadn’t really had a real meal for the day. I had eaten half a pineapple and had 2 coffees but was getting hungry and wanted some street food. Near the malls at this time of day there wasn’t much to choose from but I was hoping closer to the tourist attraction there would be – and there was. I had a large slice of watermelon (so much fresh, cheap, fruit here in Asia!!!) followed by a big plate of chicken fried rice with a fried egg on top plus a bottle of water. And all for less than USD$3. This place is amazing for the pocket book!

With lunch complete I wandered along the water to the Jim Morrison house. I arrived just in time to get a discount (under 25 is only THB$50 – half price – and I turn 25 in less than 3 weeks) and just in time for the English language tour. I really didn’t know what the place was but it’s one of the top tourist attractions in Bangkok so I went there.

This is what I learned:

Jim Thompson was in the US Armed Forces serving during WWII towards the end of the war he was sent to Thailand and fell in love with the country. He ended up moving to Thailand permanently and setting up residence in Bangkok. He somehow (I couldn’t totally understand the tour guide) got involved in the silk trade and ended up reviving the traditional hand woven silk that Thailand was known for. He started the Jim Thompson Thai Silk company that because quite famous and ended up building a home in a rather central part of Bangkok so he could be close to his weavers.  He lived in the house for a number of years before disappearing on a trip to the Cameroon Highlands in Malaysia in 1967. He was never seen again and no one knows what happened to him. Suspicious! (I might buy a book about his disappearance to be my book for Thailand).

The tour took you through all the rooms in his home and you got to peruse his massive antiques collection. His home was beautiful and so was everything inside. After the tour I lounged around in the garden reading and met a wonderful Thai gentleman who was born in Hat Yai (where we were the last few day) but has living most of his life in New Jersey. Now that he is older he is splitting his time between Thailand and America, getting back to his roots a bit. He offered to help in any way he can with our time here – so nice!

With this tourist attraction being exhausted I went back to the mall in search of a book about Thailand that I could read. While in Malaysia Elizabeth and I read a book about Malaysia and that was really cool. I’d like to do the same here, but after a good chunk of time looking at all the Thailand books at the bookstore (or which there weren’t many) I gave up and didn’t buy anything. Maybe I can find a more specialized bookstore tomorrow.

Back towards the hostel I arrived about 15 minutes before our scheduled meeting time of 4 pm and Elizabeth was there in the lobby. We went up to the room. I had a quick shower, and then I headed out for a late lunch of friend noodles – delicious! Then back to the hotel, did my exercises and stretching, took a nap, read a bit, watched a bit of Netflix, and then off for dinner.

Elizabeth was interested in going to Chinatown but the Tuk Tuk (Thai taxi) was going to cost THB$150 – way more than I wanted to spend. I voted we stick nearer to the hotel, which we did. After browsing the markets a bit we both put together a hodge-podge dinner of random items, found a nice place to sit and eat and people watch, and enjoyed our dinner.

I decided while we were wandering the market (that is full of so many usefully items like clothes) that I am going to try and completely replace my wardrobe while we are here for a mere THB$1000 or about US$35. I am sick of the clothes I have and for such little money, why not? Another goal to work on over the next 8 days!

After dinner we had to head back to the hotel as we had a Skype call scheduled with Parthiban, the author of the book we read about Malaysia. Parthiban is currently a graduate student at the University of Illinois and since he is not yet done with his doctoral thesis I assumed he wouldn’t be too famous to field a phone call from some interested readers.

For a bit more back-story, Parthiban was born in KL and lived there most of his life. His parents are Indian (one of the two major ethnic groups in Malaysia, along with Chinese) and he grew up a rather privileged life. He has spent the last 10 years now away from Malaysia but has chosen to do his doctoral thesis on temporary migrant workers in Malaysia and thus has returned multiple times to interview workers. The book, Politics of the Temporary, is a collection of blog posts he wrote during his trips to Malaysia (it doesn’t say they are blog posts in the book but he told us this on the phone).

I read the first section of the book, interviews with migrant workers, alone. I then started reading aloud to Elizabeth and then it became our project that we worked on for the following week. I though the first part of the book was fabulous, but as it progressed we found it more and more difficult to relate to what he was so frustrated about and thus really wanted to have a chat with the author.

We are so happy we did. Now, after learning that the book is mostly blog posts written in the moment – the same day he had most of these experiences, makes much more sense. In many of the chapters, especially later in the book, you can really feel Parthiban’s anger/frustration/disgust at the situation the workers are in, but cannot always tell where he is coming from. Once we spoke with him on the phone it was much more clear.

The book follows the situations of temporary migrant workers in KL and Penang, a group of people with very few legal rights, who work the lowest jobs in society, work for minimal wages (there isn’t actually a minimum wage in Malaysia), and are exploited by their employers. Many of them come to Malaysia and live for years without any possibility of ever gaining citizenship, without their families who are not allowed to legal join them, and on visas they are at risk of losing very easily. Many of them in the book, however, expressed gratitude for the opportunity they’d been given and content with the situation. Parthiban would often get quite frustrated about their lives, but Elizabeth and I couldn’t understand why since the immigrant themselves was usually quite positive.

This is where talking with the author really helped to illuminate what was going on – many of the workers were being obviously exploited by their employers (obvious to Parthiban and to the workers themselves) but because not only the worker, but their family and community back home depended on the income, there was really nothing the migrant could do. They had to endure the treatment because they didn’t have another option.

The Malaysian legal system also works against the migrants when it comes to immigration law. Here are a few examples:

-       Only Bangladeshi men are allowed to go to Malaysia as temporary migrant workers. If they have a wife or family they cannot bring them along. Once in Malaysia they can continue to work there for 12 years (granted they continue to get sponsorship) but have no possible path towards residence or citizenship. After 12 years they must leave and return to their home country.

-       The visa they get is tied to the specific job. If they lose their job or quit, the visa instantly becomes invalid and they must leave. They are given no opportunity to switch jobs or find another job.

-       Although this is not legal, employers will hold the employees’ passport and papers so they cannot leave the job. The employer who is required to provide accommodation to employees (and legally cannot charge for that) also tends to withhold wages to cover the living expenses. 

-       Migrant workers are regularly harassed by police and immigration officials about their legal status, sometimes held overnight without any proof they are illegal and even despite having the proper papers.

Many of the workers, because of their temporary immigration status, are treated differently by employers and by society. Employers will abuse the employee – paying them less money, working them longer hours in worse conditions. But society also looks down on them as well, and this is what Parthiban is trying to change. Many of the jobs the migrant works do are “dirty” jobs – cleaning toilets, picking up litter in public places, cleaning houses, etc… Because these jobs are deemed “dirty” and the migrants are going them, they are also deemed “dirty.” They do not get the respect they deserve from society for doing a job that needs to be done and are not fairly compensated for their work. (Side note here – the use of the word “dirty” I took from the book. This was very hard for me to understand when I was reading but when Parthiban talked to us about it, it was clear this term “dirty” has a whole other meaning here, something much stronger than I know it as back in America. The roots are from the Indian Caste system – nothing like what we have in America.)

The book was very interesting overall, especially Part 1, but the discussion with Parthiban was invaluable. We are so happy to have had the opportunity to speak with him; it helped add to our experience of reading the book immensely. Thank you, Parthiban, for taking the time to Skype with us. We greatly appreciate it.

After this Skype call I had another short one with a friend, then wrote this blog post, and now it is after 1 am and I am heading to bed. Another big day of exploring tomorrow. I need to get a purse (wish we were back in KL where they had the best fakes I have ever seen – never thought I’d want to go back there) and some clothes so I will likely head to Chinatown.

Chat later!