Sick

I am home sick from work right now. I have a self-diagnosed (with the help of WebMD) minor case of food poisoning. I put in my symptoms - upper abdominal pain, nausea, and the scoots (if you don't know what this is, ask one of your goat farming friends, they can tell you) - and out came that diagnosis. I'm actually quite happy with it because WebMD usually only gives a few options that tend to be on the extreme ends of the spectrum such as upset stomach or inoperable cancerous stomach tumor. I'm okay with food poisoning. I'm not okay with the fact that the last thing I ate used to be my favorite thing on the menu at work. Of course this may not be the thing that caused my food poisoning but I'll bet I won't be eating that again. And how unfortunate that this is the second time I've gotten sick from food in like 7 months (since I left America), the other time being off those mussels in Coromandel. Yuck! At least this time I'm not throwing up tiny mussel organs everywhere. But if I did throw up I might feel better, although at this point there'd be nothing to throw up since I haven't eat in like 18 hours and have little to drink, although I am trying to take sips of water now and then to keep myself hydrated. It's times like these when I'd really just like to be at home in MN, with my mother taking care of me. It's no fun being sick and alone!

So, now onto more important things.....

In the last few weeks I've been getting rather lonely out here, traveling by myself. Although I make friends wherever I go, it's hard to keep investing in friendships to know they will only end a few months later, with each of us going off on our own different paths. It probably wouldn't be a bad idea to find someone to travel with after I leave NZ, or even before that. Alanna, are we still on for Asia/maybe some of NZ? My parents have decided to come for the month of January but you can always come down before, we can do some traveling and WWOOFing together, and then you can tag along with the family vaca before we head to Asia. Let me know :)

Okay, now onto a totally new topic - being an adult. I was just texting with a friend from home, Ally, a few minutes ago who is getting married shortly and has just bought a house with herI  soon to be husband. I told here she was going to be a totally different person when I got back, with a totally different life and she said "Not, I will be exactly the same! Haha yes with a new house and husband" after which we both agreed that her having a "husband" makes her seem much older than we both feel. This brings me to a memory from when I was younger - probably in high school - and my mother had her investment group over. I remember them telling me that they still feel like they're 16, which at the time I couldn't believe! Being somewhat older now, in my mid-20s, I don't agree completely with their statement but I am starting to see where they're coming from. I don't feel like I'm 16 anymore, I feel older, more mature, smarter, but I don't feel like I thought I would feel at 24. I don't feel like what I though people would like at this age, and I'm sure the feeling will just continue forever. I have more responsibility, I have more experiences, I've lived more than 16 years, but I don't feel like an adult, or at least what I imagined adults would feel like when I was a kid. And I see myself still doing this to other people today. Sometimes I see parents out with their children, the dad's wearing some old sweatpants and a ratty ball cap, the mom's in some cute little sun dress and I think, "Hey, that's not how parents are 'supposed' to dress." It's so weird the ideas you create as a child about how life is like as an "adult" - and how when you are an "adult" it isn't what you thought it would be. I enjoy it the way it is though, still feeling young, not feeling ready for a husband and a house and a career. I'm okay still feeling young, it's nice. And I can imagine it would feel quite nice to feel young forever - even though I will get old, and wrinkly, and buy a house, and have a husband, and a kid(s). Oh, the responsibility!

Anyways, I must get back to my resting, rehydrating, trying not to think about food that will only make me nauseous.

Best!

Oh and Happy Doughnut Day! I just got an e-mail from an old MoneyGram coworker who reminded me of the holiday. We (Tammy, Kristine, Stephanie, and myself) used to go over the Rainbow on occasion and get doughnut and we sure no to miss out on National Doughnut Day. MoneyGram ladies - hope you're all well, and Kristine, thanks for the reminder!