Monday morning we had breakfast with Jennifer, a 42-year-old
professor who lives in Toronto with her husband and 3-year-old daughter.
Jennifer is a professor of Public Health Policy and her husband is a professor
of Computer Science. She has worked the last few years at the University of
Toronto but will be teaching this next year at Concordia University of Edmonton
in Alberta, CA.
Jennifer’s PhD was in history, with her doctoral thesis
focusing on resistance to vaccination. Upon graduation she could only find one
job in history, in Galveston, TX, but her husband could not find a job there.
As they obviously wanted to be together in a place where they could both work
she took a shot in the dark and applied at U of Toronto as a Public Health
Policy teacher, selling herself as this based on the connection between public
health policy and her doctoral PhD. She got the job and spent the first year
she was teaching learning along with her students.
For the last five years Jennifer and her husband have been
living in and restoring a stone house outside of Toronto. When they bought the
house 5 years ago they took on the project of restoring the house but then
Jennifer got pregnant and the work become more than they were prepared for.
Between raising their daughter and restoring the old stone house themselves,
Jennifer feels as if she has been more consumed than she could have imagined.
The work has been very hard, it has been “too much work” and she is worried
that they have spent too much of their life working on this renovation project.
Jennifer is glad that they are finished but is not sure that the project was
really worth it. (It is so nice to hear people honestly admit things like this.
At no point did it seem that Jennifer was trying to make the project seem
easier of better than it was. It is so great to hear people’s honest feelings
about something, that maybe they did something they shouldn’t have done, maybe
they made a mistake).
With this feeling of being overly consumed these last years
with their renovation project and parenting, Jennifer and her husband have
finally finished with the home and are now on a sabbatical trying to figure out
what these next years should bring. They are away from home for 4 months,
having left December 9th and staying away until the end of March.
They hope that in this time they will find some clarity about what their next 5
years should be spent doing. I am looking forward to following up with Jennifer
at the end of their journey to see if they have found some clarity.
Jennifer and her husband met in their residence hall back in
University (not sure if it was when they were studying for their BA or for
their PhD). Jennifer was looking for hot water and her now husband helped her
find it. When they were on their first date Jennifer told her husband, “I don’t
want to have children. If I get pregnant I’m getting an abortion.” She had no
intention of ever having kids but has since obviously changes her mind and they
have a lovely 3-year-old daughter. Commenting on loving you children Jennifer said,
“You learn to love your child.” I have never heard someone say this before –
how refreshing as well.
As I talk with more and more people every day it really
helps to readjust expectations. You don’t just love your child; it is something
you learn to do. How lucky I feel to hear real people share their honest opinions,
beliefs, experiences in an unfiltered way (or at least if feels unfiltered).
After finishing up with Jennifer and having a chat with
Roland we moved on to another café since we do not always feel all that welcome
the one we like. I really don’t know why we keep going back – except it’s
really the only good place to hang out in town – but I just really wish they
enjoyed our presence more. Now I almost feel like staying longer at the café
each day so they have to deal with us, almost as punishment for their
inhospitable attitudes.
We went over to China House, another café here in town, and
tried to enjoy ourselves there. Once again, a place that could really benefit
from Elizabeth’s and my outgoing personalities, attention to detail, and
general desire to provide outstanding customer service to everyone. Sitting
there enjoying out tea a woman came in by herself, wandered around a bit lost
for a while and when she walked past our table for a second time we invited her
to join us.
Emma, a 34-year-old teacher from Sydney, has been traveling
around Asia for the last 4 weeks. We met her on the last afternoon of her trip
just hours before she flew back to Australia. She has seen Nepal, India,
Malaysia, and Singapore. She had done the trip by herself, a mixture of guided
tours and her own exploration. We didn’t really interview Emma like we have the
breakfast people so I don’t have much more to say about her – I didn’t take
notes so I don’t remember the details as well – but we had a wonderful lunch
with her. And, she has a 30-year-old brother who is single and may be moving to
Singapore, Elizabeth is excited about that!
That evening for dinner we ate at Sushi Tei at the mall
again. We were so exhausted in the afternoon that we went back to the hotel and
took naps for a few hours. Not sure why we were so tired but we both needed it
– me especially as I was getting very crabby! And that was that day.
No comments:
Post a Comment